It’s that time of the year again when gratitude is a hot topic. Ever since my journey with chronic illness began, I’ve approached this season with hesitancy. See, maybe, if you’re healthy and life is going just as you planned, gratitude is an easier pill to swallow. However, if you’re anything like me, and you’ve experienced firsthand the turmoil that chronic illness can bring, it can be hard to find a reason to be grateful, let alone want to find anything to be grateful for. If you’re in a similar place and find yourself as a fellow skeptic, I know how hard it can be to overcome those feelings and thoughts, but I also know that there are few things as powerful as gratitude.
“...if you’re anything like me, and you’ve experienced firsthand the turmoil that chronic illness can bring, it can be hard to find a reason to be grateful, let alone want to find anything to be grateful for.”
There was a time in my story where I was deep in the pits of ingratitude. I was newly diagnosed, and wasn’t quite used to hitting all the roadblocks that come with being sick. I didn’t understand why God was allowing me to be sick or why He wasn’t using His miraculous healing abilities on me. I became so focused on the problem I was facing and the harsh reality of being sick, that I couldn’t break my attention away long enough to see anything good around me. I was stuck in an endless cycle of entitlement.
I felt entitled to better health because I didn’t see how a “good person” like me should be “punished” with sickness. I felt entitled to my bad attitude because I was sick. I felt entitled to physical healing because I had heard other’s stories about being healed. What I didn’t realize fully at the time, was that entitlement was the thief of my joy. Entitlement was the very thing that was making it impossible for me to be grateful. It was sucking me right dry, and it was starting to affect the people around me too.
“Entitlement was the very thing that was making it impossible for me to be grateful.”
One morning, in the midst of the throes of my entitlement, I read a verse in scripture that I had read a thousand times before, but had never read through the lens of chronic illness, “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us His Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love” (Romans 5:3-5, NLT).
In the thick of grappling with new diagnoses and new symptoms, I didn’t want to read verses like that and believe them or apply them. Honestly, it hurt too much. Yet, I also had reached a point where I was at the end of my rope. I was tired of letting the disappointments and struggles in my life have the final say. I was tired of letting ingratitude win. I was having a hard time finding anything to be grateful for, but I knew that something had to give. I couldn’t keep living a life believing that there was no goodness left for me just because I wasn’t healed from my sickness.
Around this season of my life, an email came in my inbox announcing a new Focus Fix theme, gratitude. It was one of those moments where you’re not sure if you want to cry or laugh because it was so timely. I was still skeptical. I was hesitant and unsure that it could really have that drastic of an effect on me, but I was desperate to try just about anything to break the endless cycle I was in. So I committed to that month’s challenge, and I started writing out five specific things I was grateful for every day from that 24 hour period. In the beginning, I was just writing my gratitude list to check off a box - to say I had tried gratitude, and it didn’t work. But I started to notice that, as time went on, I had to be intentional about searching for things to be grateful for. Something as simple as the hot tea I was drinking, or the sun coming through the windows at just the right angle, became a reason for me to be grateful. And I’m not exaggerating when I say it changed my life. Not because my circumstances somehow became easier, or because I was cured of the sickness I was walking through, but because I realized that there was more to life than just the struggles I was facing. I’ve been writing a gratitude list every morning since.
“I’m not exaggerating when I say it changed my life. Not because my circumstances somehow became easier, or because I was cured of the sickness I was walking through, but because I realized that there was more to life than just the struggles I was facing.”
Gratitude isn’t a genie in a bottle, ready to grant your three wishes, but it does cause a drastic change in your perspective. Practicing gratitude daily opened the door for me to realize that the potential for goodness in my life wasn't stolen just because my health had declined. Practicing gratitude put the controls back in my hands, and allowed me to recognize that God wasn’t finished with my story yet. Entitlement was stealing my joy and directing me to focus on all the bad things I was experiencing. Gratitude brought back my sense of purpose and joy because it kept my eyes focused on the goodness of a God who is still ever-present, even in the midst of suffering.
Want to see more articles like this?
People Hope is 100% donor-funded by people just like you, and we need your help to keep publishing hope-giving resources like this one! You can make a gift right now, or even sign up to join our Core Team of monthly supporters for as little as $10/month!
Written by: Dallas Bryce
Don't let her name fool you, our gal Dallas is most definitely NOT from Texas. But while she may not be a Southern belle, Dallas is one of our favorite chronically ill pals! Her food of choice is, of course, tacos. Make that tacos by the beach or lakeside, and she’s as happy as a clam! And the love of her life is a very strong tie between her husband, Jesse, and her basset hound, Buster Bluey. Dallas is one of the most genuine gals you'll ever meet, filled with a passion for her faith, family, and the people God places in her life. She's always wanted to be a writer, and man oh man, are we blessed to have her on our volunteer Writing Team!