I found myself getting frustrated a few days ago when I had to pull a chair up to the kitchen counter to prepare a meal.
See, I often broach the topic of rest as if it’s something that I have to earn or deserve. The measure of my productivity often determines the scale on which I measure my worthiness of rest & grace. It’s so easy for me to withhold what my body or mind really need for the sake of productivity.
Living in a body with chronic illness requires everyday maintenance & extra caution when it comes to completing tasks - even down to the way I complete a task. It can be so discouraging when I have to take a break mid-work because my body is sending me strong “nope” signals, but if there’s anything I’ve learned through being chronically ill, it’s that the longer I prolong the rest my body is begging for, the worse the flare and the bigger the mountain of symptoms I have to deal with later.
“I often broach the topic of rest as if it’s something that I have to earn or deserve.”
I think the biggest hangup truly comes down to the way I view giving myself the grace to rest.
The way in which we view grace determines the way that we go about giving it and receiving it. When we view grace in terms of cause and effect (ie. I did this much, so I deserve this much grace or this much rest) we’re not really seeing grace in its true light.
“Grace is, by definition, unmerited favor.”
Grace is, by definition, unmerited favor. It’s not earned or deserved and God never intended for us to work for it.
Often we see two opposing views of grace in our culture.
On the one side, there is a view of grace that can often lead to a culture of idleness. There are no real standards for what we accomplish or do with our time, and we never push ourselves outside of our comfort zones. But really, growth is only ever found outside of our comfort zones, and often, God will call us to step into something we don’t feel equipped or prepared for. But He will never call us to something that would overstep healthy boundaries.
There is a difference between a healthy boundary and a limitation we place on ourselves.
Oftentimes, we can be our own worst enemy when it comes to holding ourselves back from our potential or growth because of the fear of overdoing it. It’s natural to have to battle through that fear when you’ve been held captive in a body that is so unpredictable, but we have to find a way to push through that fear and tap into the full measure of our God-given potential. Ultimately, healthy boundaries will look different for everyone, and there’s no clear cut line we all have to walk.
Then, there’s the other side of the spectrum where giving yourself grace is viewed as ungodly or lazy, and all this leads to is a whole lot of burned out and weighed down people trying to pour out of an empty cup. We aren’t really serving anyone well when we are completely drained ourselves. And when we can’t even accept the grace God is freely giving for ourselves, how can we expect to offer grace to those around us? We have to first take the steps ourselves to recognize the truth about God’s grace for us, and then, out of that understanding flows our ability to serve others well.
“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace” (1 Peter 4:10 ESV).
When we take on an extreme perspective of God’s grace - in either direction - it’s not serving us well. It’s high time we ditched our old ways of viewing grace and cling to the truth.
The truth is this - we do not serve a God who cannot or will not empathize with our weaknesses or the gaps in our abilities. In fact, it’s just the opposite. He created us & knows our limitations better than we know them ourselves. He not only acknowledges and validates our weaknesses, but the Bible tells us that Jesus Himself experienced each and every one we’ll ever face:
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:15-16 ESV).
On the days when we can’t complete every task on our to-do list, we can breathe easy knowing that God is not expecting us to reach perfection anytime soon. It has never been, and will never be, more important that we check off the to-dos on our list than we check in with our bodies and listen to their needs. God is asking us to steward our bodies, minds, and spirits well!
“God is asking us to steward our bodies, minds, and spirits well!”
“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV).
I think we’ll find that in time, and surrounded by the right people, our friends and family will learn to understand our needs and be willing to extend grace to us on those hard days. So why not extend grace to ourselves first?
At the end of the day, we may have absolutely no control over the curve balls our sick bodies throw us - dang, do I wish we did! We do have the amazing gift of choosing the way we go about handling them and the attitude we approach our hard days with.
Give yourself some grace today, friend.
Written by: Dallas Bryce
Don't let her name fool you, our gal Dallas is most definitely NOT from Texas. But while she may not be a Southern belle, Dallas is one of our favorite chronically ill pals! Her food of choice is, of course, tacos. Make that tacos by the beach or lakeside, and she’s as happy as a clam! And the love of her life is a very strong tie between her husband, Jesse, and her basset hound, Buster Bluey. Dallas is one of the most genuine gals you'll ever meet, filled with a passion for her faith, family, and the people God places in her life. She's always wanted to be a writer, and man oh man, are we blessed to have her on our volunteer Writing Team!
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