I always loved school. From the first day I walked into kindergarten and was dubbed “The Pop Tart Queen” because of my dependable snack choice, I looked forward to school each day (no, the nickname did not carry on into adulthood, as much as I would have liked it to). But in high school, something began making school more difficult and less enjoyable - my undiagnosed chronic illnesses. There were a handful of mornings I awoke and stood up out of bed, ready to seize the day. But then my heart began racing and the room began spinning and the floor seemed much closer to me than I thought it had been mere seconds ago. By the time I regained my footing and made it to school, I was indescribably more nervous that I would have an episode like that again.
I would like this story to have a more concrete ending, to say that when I was finally diagnosed and began treatment, my symptoms that made school more difficult went away and I could fully enjoy the day again. Yes, I’ve been diagnosed, and yes, I’m undergoing treatment, but as I’ve grown in age, so have my symptoms. But all hope is not lost! As my symptoms have increased, so has my desire to learn how to THRIVE in education, first as a student, and now as a teacher. Here are five tips I’ve learned are helpful for succeeding in education with chronic illness:
#1. Learn your limits and set boundaries.
If someone had told me this five years ago, I would have nodded along to give the illusion of understanding, then went right back to writing my paper at 2am with a pot of coffee by my side. If I began something, anxiety told me I HAD to finish it RIGHT THEN before I moved on to anything else, regardless of how my body was feeling in that moment. I absolutely drove myself into the ground by ignoring my body’s signs to please-for-the-love-of-everything-that-is-right-in-the-world take a break.
Limits and boundaries look different for everyone, and sometimes, it takes some experimenting to figure out the right balance. Maybe you need to set a specific time each day to complete schoolwork or grading, and when the time to put away your laptop comes, you treat it like a hard and fast rule: “It’s 5pm? I will pick this back up tomorrow.” Or maybe you need to make a list of each day’s have-tos, could-dos, and want-tos. If you complete that day’s have-tos and feel your body telling you it’s time to lay flat while you catch up on “The Bachelor,” well, then, you can get to the could-dos and want-tos at another time. You do NOT have to complete EVERYTHING on your to-do list at the cost of your well-being.
#2. Accept that your limits might change from day to day, and that’s okay.
I am the textbook definition of a planner, and one of the things about chronic illness that grinds my gears the most is not being able to predict how I’ll feel from one day to the next. Some days, I can stand for three hours with the cheerleaders I coach and practice their sideline dances with them, while other days, I can barely stand up for ten minutes without nearly losing consciousness. If you share my struggle, then it might be incredibly frustrating when you set boundaries for yourself and realize that you can’t even accomplish what you wanted to within those boundaries.
But that’s okay.
Accepting that your limits might change from day to day is a habit that takes time to develop. At first, you might have to try really hard not to beat yourself up when you have to stop working on an assignment earlier than you expected or rest instead of attending a class. But the more you listen to your body and do what it needs in that moment, the more second-nature it becomes. Give yourself grace, and don’t be harsh on yourself when you need it.
#3. Set aside time to do something for yourself.
You’ve probably heard the saying “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” Whether you realize it or not, education with chronic illness can be draining, even for someone like me who absolutely loves school. Even if you learn your limits, set boundaries, and accept that your limits might change from day to day, if you are only doing school all the time, you will eventually feel empty. You need time to do something for yourself.
A few things are non-negotiables for me. I need time to enjoy my morning cup of coffee (or two, or three). I need time to take a bubble bath if it isn’t a hair-washing day (or even if it is - I can wear a braid again tomorrow, right?) I need time to wind down before bed, whether it’s by reading a book or re-watching Parks and Rec for the 23rd time (Leslie Knope is my role model, by the way). It doesn’t matter what I have going on that day or what I have to do tomorrow. I set aside time to make these things happen because I KNOW it will help me be more mentally and emotionally prepared to face whatever my chronic illness throws at me.
Your non-negotiables might be different from mine. Are you a runner? I have no idea why, but more power to you. Do you love to bake? I’ll take a dozen cookies, please. Whatever fills up your cup, make that a priority. It isn’t selfish to take care of yourself.
#4. Be willing to ask for help.
In addition to being a planner, I am also fiercely independent. It is one of the reasons it took me so long to be diagnosed - I was convinced I could eliminate my symptoms without a doctor’s intervention. But asking for help is vital. Maybe you need to ask for accommodations at your school. Maybe you need to ask for an extension on that paper or project. Maybe you need to ask your roommate or partner or parent to help with the cooking or the cleaning or the laundry. You don’t have to feel guilty for asking for help.
Imagine your best friend. She lives nearby. One day she falls off a curb and breaks her ankle playing putt-putt (yes, this has actually happened to someone I know). Now, she is non-weight bearing and can’t cook dinner for herself. What is your response to her? Do you roll your eyes, call her a burden, help her with meals because you feel like you have to, even if you don’t want to? NO! You happily do what you can to help her because you love her and care about her and want her to have what she needs. This is how the people in your life probably feel about YOU - the ones who matter, anyway!
Now think about your teacher or professor. Most of them get into education because they are passionate about something and want to share that passion with others. They want their students to succeed. But how can they help you be your best in their class if they don’t know what you’re struggling with? Countless teachers, myself included, will do anything they can to ensure their students are getting the most out of their class, but for them to help, they need you to communicate! Talk with your school or university to see what kinds of accommodations you can get to make your overall experience more manageable, and talk specifically with your teachers and professors to see how they’re willing to work with you. You don’t have to (nor should you) do it all alone.
#5. Don’t neglect your relationship with God.
Let me be clear, I do not think that praying and reading your Bible will cure you of your mental and physical illnesses. But just as setting aside time to do something for yourself strengthens you mentally and emotionally and makes you more prepared to face what your body throws at you, so does spending time with God. One of my absolute favorite passages in the Bible is 2 Corinthians 12:1-10. Paul has something weighing him down. While we don’t know exactly what it is, we do know that he refers to it as “a thorn in the flesh” that “torments” him (v. 7). When Paul prays to God for this thorn to be taken away, God’s response is that His grace is sufficient, and His power is made perfect in weakness (v. 9). While God might not take away our chronic illnesses, He will give us the strength to make it from one day to the next. If He has called you to be in school or to a career that requires you to have a degree, He will see you through. God doesn’t call the equipped. He equips the called.
Education with chronic illness is not easy. In fact, it can be downright difficult. But you can do it. I believe in you.
Written by: Bailey Humphrey, EdD
If you love "The Bachelorette," a good podcast, artisan grilled cheese sandwiches, or are just a human being in general, it's time to "accept this rose" and become BFFs with Bailey. A High School English teacher and cheerleading coach by day, Bailey's off-hours are often spent in her living room curled up with a book, a Brown Sugar Oatmilk Shaken Espresso in hand, and her German Shepherd/Border Collie mix, Willie, at her feet. We have nothin' but good things to say about this fabulous member of our volunteer Writing Team!
Want to see more articles like this?
People Hope is 100% donor-funded by people just like you, and we need your help to keep publishing hope-giving resources like this one! You can make a gift right now, or even sign up to join our Core Team of monthly supporters for as little as $10/month!