Growing up, I thought bad body image days were simply a symptom of being a teenager. I imagined that once I became an adult - working full-time, paying for health insurance, seamlessly putting the fitted sheets back on my bed - bad body image days would be behind me.
I was wrong.
Maybe it’s because I never did learn to efficiently put fitted sheets back on my bed, and therefore, never fully crossed over the threshold into adulthood, but bad body image days are, unfortunately, pretty common for me.
And chronic illness doesn’t make that any easier.
Chronic illness means you don’t just feel uncomfortable in your outfit that day, wishing your clothes fit a little differently. Chronic illness means you both feel uncomfortable and you wonder why your body is betraying you; why you try so hard to get up every morning just for your body to rebel; why each day’s schedule has to look different or require more flexibility because you never know how your body will respond; why you can’t do the same things you used to be able to do physically because your symptoms are now always present.
Chronic illness gives your bad body image days a whole different meaning. With chronic illness, your bad body image days are transformed from being about how your body looks to how your body functions.
I might not be immune to bad body image days, especially since developing my chronic illnesses, but I have learned a few things that have helped me shift my mindset:
#1 Take photos of when you feel confident
Just as sure as you are to have bad body image days, there will also be days where you feel super confident.
This past year, I had the opportunity to be a bridesmaid at two weddings and a guest at two others. I had my hair professionally done, used false lashes, wore a pair of heels that I regretted twenty minutes into the evening. And I love how I look in the pictures from those events! But I rarely look like that on a daily basis.
Most of the time, I look like I’ve just walked out of the local Walmart after making a midnight emergency snack run. But even so, there are days like these where I still feel confident in my skin. When I have one of those high-confidence days, I take a picture, and I save it in a specific album on my phone.
When I stumble into a bad body image day, it’s easy for me to spiral and begin to question whether I’ll ever feel confident again. But then, I look at that album with photos of the times where I felt good about myself - the fancy wedding-attending days and the casual midnight-Walmart-run days,and I’m reminded that there were moments of joy and radiance where I was happy with myself. This helps me believe that I’ll have those moments again. The simple reminder that what we feel in a given moment isn’t permanent is what I need to start moving beyond my bad body image day.
#2 Practice self-affirmations
The first time I heard about self-affirmations, I’ll admit I was overly critical. What do you mean that repeating sentences to myself every day will help me? That’s mumbo jumbo and tomfoolery. But guess what? There’s actual science behind it.
You’ve probably heard of “muscle memory” - how when you do a physical task repeatedly, your muscles learn to perform that activity more naturally and without having to consciously think about it as much. If you rode a bike throughout your childhood, but you haven’t ridden one in the past 10 years, chances are you could hop on a bike now and ride it easily because of muscle memory.
Repeating self-affirmations creates muscle memory within your brain. The National Library of Medicine published an article in 2015 that explains how repeating self-affirmations requires your brain to automatically think more positively about yourself. If you repeat self-affirmations daily, then when you encounter negative thoughts, your muscle memory will activate and attempt to replace the negative thoughts with your positive self-affirmations.
Not sure what to say? Here are a few of my favorite self-affirmations to use:
My body tries to help and protect me; my body is for me.
My chronic illness does not define me.
It’s okay to rest; rest is productive.
It’s okay to ask for help; my family and friends are here to support me, and I am not a burden.
You can also find self-affirmations by making a list of what your body does for you. On bad body image days, we tend to hyperfixate on what our bodies do not look like or do not do, but there are so many positive things that your body does do.
My thighs might boast some cellulite, but my legs carry me so well; they’re strong and allow me to enjoy walks.
My abdomen may be bloated to the point of discomfort, but my abdomen houses so many important organs; it’s meant to take up space, and it’s doing such a good job of expanding or contracting to accommodate what my body needs.
My arms are getting more jiggly, but they are always eager to hug my family.
These self-affirmations and others equip me to conquer bad body image days.
#3 Nourish yourself
Hangry: a state of being where you are so hungry that you become angry. I think we’ve all experienced this emotion. And when we’re hangry and our emotions are raging, it’s much easier to be hard on ourselves. To look down on ourselves. To wonder if our life is like The Truman Show where everyone is an actor who is paid to pretend to like us, when in reality, no one actually likes us, and meanwhile, the whole wide world is watching us make mistakes through the secret cameras hidden around…..
Stop. Sit down. Eat a sandwich. Drink a bottle of water.
But what if I’m in the middle of a flare and don’t have the energy to make food? This is a problem I frequently encounter. And as easy as it is for me to microwave a frozen soft pretzel for a snack, they’re not nutritious enough for me to live off of. Here’s where food prep comes in.
I usually feel my best physically on Sunday. I’ve had all day Saturday to rest and recuperate from the stress of the week. I’ve also had my groceries delivered by this point in the weekend (praise God for Instacart). I try to prepare as much as I can for the snacks and meals in the week to come. Whether I put my overnight oats and their toppings in a container so I can just add water in the morning, or I cut up my meat and veggies so I can just throw them in the pan in the evening, meal prepping means that when I reach the “hanger” stage later in the week, I don’t have to worry about whether I’m flaring. I can just grab my prepped food out of the fridge and feel better.
If you’re in the midst of a bad body image day, nourish your body. Give it what it needs. You will begin to think more clearly.
#4 Practice some gentle movement
I started to shy away from exercise when my symptoms worsened. High intensity workouts made me feel sick and left me in more pain. I had a very narrow view of what it looked like to move my body, and when I could no longer physically handle those types of workouts, I thought I was just out of luck.
But there are so many fulfilling ways to move your body apart from rigorous workouts. Maybe you want to do some gentle yoga. Maybe you want to take a walk outside and soak in the sunshine (or even just enjoy a slow stroll to your mailbox). Maybe you have a pool and, when it’s warm enough, you just want to bop around with your floaties. Any form of movement can benefit your mental health.
But make sure you give yourself grace and don’t push yourself too hard. Before I moved past high intensity workouts, I was not very kind to myself. Because I was a competitive cheerleader in high-school and my symptoms were not as prevalent, I was in peak physical condition. I wouldn’t have won a CrossFit tournament or anything, but I could go for a run without having to worry whether I’d pass out on the side of the road.
When my symptoms started to present themselves, I didn’t want to acknowledge that the way I moved my body needed to change. The motto “No pain, no gain” ran through my head as I pushed myself to run just a little further, despite the fact that my knees felt like bone was rubbing against bone and my vision had started to get fuzzy. I’d done this workout before, and surely I could do it again if I just pushed myself enough.
Boy, was that a mistake.
Even since I’ve modified my body movements, I’ve had to learn to give myself grace. If my POTS is particularly bad, then maybe I need to send my husband to the mailbox instead and I’ll practice walking to the next room. If my joints feel a bit loose, then maybe I don’t need to do an advanced yoga practice; perhaps I can do simple, gentle stretches instead. Listening to your body and respecting its limits is so important.
Find what feels good to you and know that it’s okay if that changes from day to day. Gentle movement will help you appreciate your body more, but it will also release endorphins, which trigger a positive feeling within the body. Like Elle Woods said in the cult classic Legally Blonde, “Endorphins make you happy.” And you’ll feel better about yourself overall if you feel happy.
#5 Remember truth from God’s Word
Similar to self-affirmations, regularly taking in truth from God’s Word will help you shift your mindset. Our bad body image days are a side effect of the sin in the world. We are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and when we feel less than, that’s a lie from the enemy.
What combats lies? The truth.
Not only does God’s Word show us that our bodies are important as temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19), but we also see that God’s strength is perfected in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Because God’s strength is present in our weakness, we can be more than conquerors in the battle against the enemy’s lies (Romans 8:37). Reading God’s Word won’t cure you of your bad body image days, but it will fill your mind with truth and equip you to stand in the face of bad body image days and fight.
We might never get rid of bad body image days completely, but we can feel more equipped to face those days. When you have one of those days, know that you’re not alone. You have a community of encouragers here at People Hope who are willing to speak life into you. Between these tips and the support from your People Hope Family, hopefully those bad body image days will be fewer and far between.
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Written by: Bailey Humphrey, EdD
If you love "The Bachelorette," a good podcast, artisan grilled cheese sandwiches, or are just a human being in general, it's time to "accept this rose" and become BFFs with Bailey. A High School English teacher and cheerleading coach by day, Bailey's off-hours are often spent in her living room curled up with a book, a Brown Sugar Oatmilk Shaken Espresso in hand, and her German Shepherd/Border Collie mix, Willie, at her feet. We have nothin' but good things to say about this fabulous member of our volunteer Writing Team!